Financial Consequences of Legal Separation
Going through a divorce is not a good and easy way to let go of a marriage but opting for a legal separation can be a struggle too. Legally speaking, separation is a court process that will divide your assets and debts, specify any maintenance obligations, child custody, parenting time or visitation, and child support obligations. It is important to emphasize that legal separations can involve most expenses that a contested divorce would. There is a fair amount of attorney work required in a legal separation as well. One issue that will need to be addressed is who pays which bills in a separation. While there are various people involved in the bills of a household, only the owners will have the responsibility of making payments on them as they will have legal obligation to them.
A court can decide which spouse will be responsible for the family home or any property that the parties agreed to which is not tied to one specific individual. In regard to debts, each party is required to be responsible for their own credit card payments , unless specified otherwise, along with any other financial interests they may have or that you have agreed to. Again, the courts will weigh in on how these debts are to be divided if you cannot agree upon an equal share.
It is almost certain that the bills will be higher for you than when you were living with your spouse so it is recommended that you track all spouse related expenses on paper. It helps to be able to show how much you’ve been paying out for your spouse’s expenses if you ever undergo litigation. In addition to being able to cover your expenses, you want to be sure that you can afford your share of the legal fees. Though there the same amount of work with a divorce, a legal separation can be more costly than a divorce itself. Many times this is for the fact that you are still going to be paying your attorney’s fees for a longer span of time than would otherwise be expected. Probably the only saving grace that a legal separation offers is that there is a lesser waiting period for a legal separation to be converted into a divorce.
Emotional Turmoil and Uncertainty
One of the most significant drawbacks of legal separation is the emotional toll it may take on you and your spouse, and to a larger extent, on your children. While your marriage may be legally protected by a court order, the reality is that you are no longer in a "marriage." Keeping up the appearance, to yourself and your children, that your relationship is not irrevocably broken may lead to emotional stress, guilt, and resentment.
Legal separation sets the stage for an "in-between" that can be very difficult to maneuver from both a financial and emotional standpoint. If you are separating with the intent of reconciling in the future, you will probably need to retrain yourself and your children how to interact with each other. You will be distancing yourself from your spouse without closure—without the ability to lay things to rest as husband and wife. If you are separating because you both recognize that your relationship is over, legal separation gives you both hope that there might be a change in circumstances (perhaps one of you will have a change of heart, or one of you will find somebody new, or one of you will get a new job and move out of state). Hope is good, but hope can also be the enemy of action, and preventing either you or your spouse from closing the door and moving on with their life.
For the children, separating parents who are not legally divorced can be confusing. Living in a world with too many questions and too few answers is a strain for children, who feel all too often caught between two parents who can’t get along. Many parents have been in the difficult position of hearing their children tell them how their spouse has yell at them, share how scared and confused they are, and then plead with them not to get a divorce.
While your separating spouse doesn’t have to accept the terms of your legal separation, it can actually be a good thing for them; that is, if your spouse accepts the terms and moves forward with their life, you can finally start healing and moving on. In many cases, though, legal separation allows your spouse to hang around like a ghost. If you’ve lived with your spouse for years (perhaps decades) and have children together, your life will be pretty different once you separate. While in a legal separation your personal assets and debt are still divided, there is a real psychological division being created between you and your spouse when you separate. It may be fairly blunt to say this, but with all the associated "dark clouds" hanging around, in many situations your spouse simply feels the need to "stay close" to the subject of their affection.
Impact on Legal Rights and Benefits
The consequences for legal benefits, entitlements, and tax implications can be very different in a legal separation and a divorce. In the case of a legal separation, the parties do not actually vacate the marriage. The marriage remains intact in the fleeting sense, however society at large will then treat the spouses as married for the purposes of income taxation, immigration visas, and benefits. The legal significance is that a legal separation will not result in the distribution of marital assets, or the statutory presumptions thereon. Thus, in a separation, no fault or grounds are necessarily required. Conversely, a divorce process will affect very different entitlements. A divorce will be costly and complicated; however, it does have benefits by way of statutory entitlements, such as a sharing of the matrimonial assets, determined by the courts and a share of pension and employee benefits.
Restriction on Remarriage
If you and your spouse have obtained a legal separation but not a divorce, you are not yet free to remarry. To be able to legally remarry you have to have a divorce, which legally ends your relationship with your former spouse. It is important to note the distinction between divorce and legal separation. A divorce, also known in New Jersey as "dissolution of marriage" terminates the marriage relationship between spouses and permits both spouses to marry again. When arrangements for the division of property and/or support are made as part of the divorce process, they are binding unless modified by the court (a notable exception is the child support provisions) . Even if you agree to that provision and it is intended as permanent or final, the courts have the power to modify it based upon changed circumstances (see Lepis v. Lepis). A divorce can always be undone by the reconciliation of the parties, but in most cases this does not happen; some 97% of divorces are final. A legal separation, on the other hand, is akin to a divorce, but does not completely terminate the marital relationship. You and your spouse remain legally married, so you cannot enter into a new marriage; a subsequent marriage would be void. This prohibition against remarriage can affect your long-term life planning and personal relationships with new friends, acquaintances, lovers and so forth.
Child Custody and Support Implications
In many cases, taking the step to legally separate rather than less formally separating and living apart from a spouse may be necessary to obtain certain benefits. However, issues exist in terms of an agreement on child custody and support arrangements. In some cases, parents may wish to avoid the adversarial process and the problems associated with divorce and seek to avoid legal actions by entering into a mutually agreeable parenting plan that a judge may later approve. Such an arrangement can become problematic if there are bitterness or resentment or if a violation occurs.
Custody Issues If a judge later has to decide matters of custody, the same legal considerations are used as in a divorce proceeding. This means finding out whether primary custody should go to a particular custodial parent or whether split or joint custody arrangements should occur. In Connecticut, the judge is also required to consider both parents and their relationship with the child when deciding such matters.
Support Issuances As is the case with issues of child custody, the court attempts to avoid litigation. This can include issuing support guidelines for the benefit of a child that are similar to those set in a divorce proceeding. The court first considers what the child requires to be economically healthy and flourish. An estimation of income of both parents as well as their relationship with the child can be important in making these determinations.
Modifications In the event that a parent violates a parenting agreement or parenting plan, the other parent may ask a judge to modify the legal separation agreement. If one party has ignored the agreement, the judge can order the offender to pay for legal fees of the other party to go back to court. To be successful in making modifications to any family-related issues, courts want evidence and proof that there is a valid need for the changes.
Social and Stigma-Related Problems
There are social implications — often resulting in stigmas — attached to living in a state of separation which can sometimes negatively affect both personal and professional lives. Whilst some couples may feel comfortable with the situation and confident in their choice, others might experience negative attention from peers. Friends and families can judge these individuals poorly and accuse them of "playing house" or of "shacking up" with a divorcee’s title [somewhat] added to it to signal to others that this is not a person to be taken seriously . Surely one of the worst cases scenario involves children who might in fact be embarrassed to see their parents living in different houses, but otherwise maintaining a relationship.
Meanwhile, social norms might actually pressure individuals into living in a state of separation when they still have strong feelings. Commonly practiced in the 1950s, many professional couples would agree to separate to maintain a certain image that went hand in hand with their societal roles and careers. Psychologists and doctors, for example, would argue that they were more respected as individuals when their spouses were not working outside the home, putting pressure on couples to live apart and maintain individual lives to save face.
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